Sometimes when groups of young Bangladeshi men are hanging on the sidewalk outside my apartment and speaking loudly in a foreign language (usually when harassing passers-by), I fantasize about flinging eggs down on them from my window.
I have it all thought out. It would be covert. I would open the top part of my window just slightly, and turn off my light. I’d get the eggs out of the fridge, and just sort of pop them out of the crack in the window, because I wouldn’t have to throw them hard as they are just below.
And then they’d be all, “Where’d that egg come from?!” and look up but the lights would be off and they wouldn’t notice the crack in the window and they’d be all confused and say, “Well, that we weird, we should definitely be quiet and go home.”
All of that because I am a passive-aggressive asshole that can’t pop his head out the window and just fucking shush somebody.
Kirk showed me this and I have now watched it 6 times. It’s the inaccurate hall of presidents. I will watch it more times. Enjoy it.
Buddy Knox!
Geppeto Corrigan!
Jonathan T. President
Daniel Flintstone was America’s worst president.
Hang on, I just want to take a moment to figure out when it is and is not okay to make fun of dead people on Twitter.
Last July, Amy Winehouse died. Within minutes of the announcement of her death, jokes appeared on Twitter at her expense, followed by an overwhelming reaction that those jokes were not okay, that they were in bad taste.
Amy Winehouse was a drug-addicted pop star, who contributed nothing to society, consistently flaunted her wealth and addiction on national television, destroyed her family, and ultimately killed herself with alcohol poisoning. She seemed to have no remorse for her actions. She had a song written about her.
Joe Paterno was a family man who contributed 60+ years to a single university, donated millions to that institution, helped countless young men and women, and helped make Penn State one of the most treasured public schools in our nation, but made a huge mistake involving an inhuman former colleague. He publicly apologized numerous times, but the stress of knowing the consequences of his lack of action likely contributed to his deteriorating condition and ultimately his death.
So it is okay to mock Joe Paterno on Twitter, but not okay to mock Amy Winehouse.
Got it. Thanks, Internet!
Artist: They Might Be Giants
Album: Join Us
Track: Cloisonne´
“Cloisonne” by TMBG off of Join Us.
When you’re trying to win people over to TMBG, you’d usually pick one of the catchier songs by John Linnel like Don’t Let’s Start or Doctor Worm or Ana Ng. But let me just come clean and tell you that it’s the weird Flansburgh songs that are true TMBG songs to me. This song with its abrasive saxophone and it’s what-the-fuck-is-that percussion thump in the left speaker? And the strange line “What’s a Sleestack” which vaguely makes me think of an older guy who feels out of it, but not quite, because the words just don’t ultimately make sense.
This is the band, warts and inaccessible weirdness and all.
YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN LAW ENFORCEMENT / MIND YOUR BUSINESS / TELL ‘EM A STORY, RAINDROP (I DON’T WANT TO TELL ‘EM, MISTER)
Listen to this song and join the club.
I am not the only person who thinks this way! Ryan: VALIDATED
Lindsey Weber: also your blog is becoming urlesque
Lindsey Weber: aka ALL DOGS & CATS
Nick: our corporate sponsor wanted more funny animals
Lindsey Weber: we’re gonna sue you
Lindsey Weber: best roof talk ever esque
Nick: best roof talkesquever!
Lindsey Weber: HAHA
Lindsey Weber: please
Lindsey Weber: make that a thing
Nick: can i quote this mini conversation
Nick: to accompany another video of a cat
Lindsey Weber: you have another cat video on standby?
Nick: yes i do
Nick: dancing cat
Lindsey Weber: jesusThrowback to the days of Urlesque! Ah, the memories. And to think, Urlesque is…different now, but BESTROOFTALKEVERESQUE lives on! As cat-covered as ever. Good job, boys.
Urlesque, as we knew it, is not “different” now… it’s straight up dead. :(
BUT HEY LOOK CATS
This is a new and extremely short short of mine called Extraordinary.
This is the first in a series of tiny shorts I’ve decided to write and direct so I can stay on top of my game and get to work with performers I haven’t worked with yet. This one is called Extraordinary and features the great Will Hines and Anthony King.
This is very good.
YOU ARE OLD of the Day: John Scalzi introduces his 13-year-old daughter Athena — who was born half a decade after the MP3 was invented — to the music delivery system of yore: The LP.
[kottke.]
This was funny, but it’s also kind of bullshit. There were no records in my house growing up, but I had at least seen how a goddam LP works on some sort of TV show or movie along the way. “What do you do with it?” Come ON.
TYR does not support SOPA/PIPA.
We do suport Mexican Soup and Pippa Middleton.
Summer Fridays. 10:30. This Friday. At Under St. Marks.
Reblogged for Soup and Pippa.
And also TYR.
The Year's Best Humor Writing
Splitsider was kind enough to include one of my essays on their list of best humor writing in 2011. Woody Allen is also on this list! We’re equals now! In all ways!
(Follow the link in the article to read the actual piece.)
CONGRATS ANDREW
NOICE
Don’t worry, in 6 months, I’ll probably be editing together a clip reel of news stories about shampoo and fat people.
(Source: interweber)
I was walking around the HuffPost newsroom and stopped in my tacks when I saw these on Ryan’s desk.
Frakkin’ toasters.
Ryan, I am jealous. I have a Justin Bieber barbie on my desk for the past year and no one ever took a picture of that to put on Tumblr.
You come look at them whenever you want! DO NOT TOUCH
I finally watched this butter video. Would watch again.
what if it was you?
A Norwegian butter message. My jaw is on the floor.
This makes it in at the VERY LAST SECOND for Funniest Fucking Video of the Year 2011.
(via hugel)
Give Me Something to Write
Hello, Tumblr. I am starting this new writing project. It will, like most of my creative endeavors, probably become a spectacular and dazzling failure, akin to the Hindenburg disaster, the Kardashian wedding, or the new Men in Black 3 trailer. But I invite you to take part, if you’d like, before I pretend to forget about it in 6 months out of shame.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Dave’s Funeral
This has the best ending of any sketch we’ve done. I love this. Enjoy!
